Cheese Dog

Yesterday I dropped something so spectacular, it doesn’t even need a background story.

I went over to my favorite work stall and unleashed something enormous from my osmotic anal membrane. This thing was nearly 2 inches in diameter, and about 13 inches long! It was so huge that it was sticking up in the air, way above the water line in the bowl.

Sure, I’ve excreted some massive logs in my day, but what made this one so special is that I thought it was over at that point – but suddenly I felt a little grumble somewhere between the small & large intestine. I was thinking “impossible! How could there be anything left inside of me after that ungodly monstrosity?”

And then it happened…

It was only about a half inch thick this time, but it oozed out of my anus as if the first log was a giant gas station hot dog (more like those creepy cheeseburger-dogs, since they’re browner and lumpier on the outside), and my ass was one of those cheese whiz pumps. The poo-drizzle was so perfect, it didn’t break off until it was nearly a foot and a half long, curled neatly on top.

There was so much fecal matter in the bowl that day, that I didn’t think I’d be able to flush – and that was before introducing any TP to the bowl! As I stood over the bowl and looked down at my masterpoo in awe, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride that - combined with the scent of 5 pounds of Taco Bell-induced droppings – nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Ah, sweet, smelly feces :)