The Conhead Catastrophe
There’s really nothing quite like a “Conehead Sundae” from Friendly’s.
I remember I used to always get them for desert with my kids meal. For those of you who don’t know, the conehead sundae is a scoop of ice cream with a cone on top and a smiley face made out of Reese’s Pieces. If Elliot had ever taken E.T. to Friendly’s, he’d have shot a huge load of alien goo in his flannel shirt when he saw this tasty treat. (NOTE: I used to order my conehead sundaes with chocolate ice cream so I could have African-American coneheads with dark chocolate faces. I would call them "Wesley Scoops").
When I went to Friendly’s the other night for ice cream, I scanned the dessert menu 4 times and couldn’t find the conehead sundae anywhere! I had to settle for a Reese’s Pieces Sundae – 3 scoops of _mocha chunk ice cream, caramel, peanut butter, hot fudge, and of course, some tasty Pieces. This is probably a better sundae than the conehead to begin with, but it did not have a face on it… or a cone.
Well, this thing was tasty as hell, and I ate the shit out of it. However, as I got up to leave, I started to wonder if I could contain it for the 5 minute ride to my house. When I saw a fat lady paying her massive bill at the front, I realized I wouldn’t make it, so I bolted for the restroom in the back.
I sat down in the handicap stall and gave a little squeeze. The logs flowed fast and furious! There were four of them, each about 3-and-a-half inches in length. When I looked down into the bowl, I saw what looked like 4 flaccid, black mini-dildos.
A fine decision and a fine result. I've never been diagnosed as "lactose intolerant", but this episode would suggest that it's a strong possibility. Either way, there's nothing that could prevent me from going back for seconds! It was that damn good. And besides, how could I hate on 4 logs? That's like the Denny's grand slam breakfast of poop.
posted by Shnitzmaster | 7:47 AM
6 Comments:
The Reese's Pieces sundae is indeed a delicious treat, not to mention my personal favorite. But if it is the Conehead Sundae that you desire, Friendly's still has it. It's only listed on the menu as coming with a kid's meal. But you can still get one - just ask!
Am I to believe that you haven't taken a crap since June? Come on, out with the interesting poop prose, or I will be forced to submit another "wrecked my drawers" yarn (my night at the Apollo).
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