Magic's House
Here's something I've been thinking about a lot lately for absolutely no reason whatsoever:
If you were at Magic Johnson's house and had to take a dump, would you do it? or would you just hold it in and risk losing it in your pants and having it roll down your leg onto the floor?
Right now, I'm leaning towards "holding it," since often times my logs are large and cause slight tears of my anal walls, which would make me more susceptable to getting the AIDS that is floating around in the air in his house. This is the reason that gay people get a lot of AIDS (because they tear up each other's anal walls during sex, not because they hang out at Magic Johnson's house).
However, in order to carefully ASSess the situation, I've decided to list some pro's and con's about whether you should poop at Magic's house or hold it in.
PRO: You don't really want to poop yourself in front of a celebrity, do you?
CON: I'm sure he has plenty of maids who have encountered this before. They'll clean up the poop. Just say his dog (or his wife) did it if anyone asks you.
PRO: He probably isn't gonna let you use the same toilet that he poops in anyway.
CON: Yeah, but we don't know how fast AIDS travels in the air. What if it flies around really fast, or attaches itself to dust particles? Do you really want to spread cheek and risk AIDS-laced dust particles flying up your rectum?
PRO: You could tell your friends, "I took a dump at Magic Johnson's house!"
CON: You could end up telling your friends, "I took a dump at Magic Johnson's house...... and got AIDS!"
PRO: Well, Isiah Thomas guarded him at his last All Star Game, and he didn't get AIDS!
CON: Yeah, but Isiah guarded him from 10 feet away. Besides, Isiah's gay anyway, so you gotta figure he knows how to protect himself from AIDS. Haven't you ever heard him talk?
PRO: Magic's had AIDS forever, and he looks fine!
CON: Well, he is a bit chubby. But you don't have Magic's money, so the AIDS is gonna kill your ass.
PRO: But what's the big deal? I've already got AIDS!
CON: Uh... er... well, I guess you should just go for it then! I'm not a doctor or anything, but can you get more AIDS then you already have?
PRO: Oops, my bad! I meant I've already got Herpes, not AIDS.
CON: Well, you've already decided that it was okay to poop at Mike Vick's house, so you obviously have no qualms about this sort of thing. Drop it like it's hot!
posted by Shnitzmaster | 3:10 PM
11 Comments:
aids floating around in the air? how old are you, 12? you fucking ignorant moron.
this is rude and so not funny. I agree with the previous poster, "How old are you?" This in an insult to anyone with HIV or AIDS. Shut the fuck up already and shit your ass off!
Why are you guys so mad? do you have AIDS???
maybe you should practice better safe anal sex!
my only thing is, he has UNdetectable levels of HIV, not AIDS. That means less than .001 detectable levels in his t-cells. No AIDS whatsoever. It would be much funnier if it was VD, or Heppy C at Pam Andersons house.
Or the temptation of a crack pipe at Marion Barry's
THis is disgusting, rude and inappropriate. If you feel the need to do something as lame as this, don't go adverstising it. What a LOSER
Wow. You're...quite the dumbass.
lamest... blog... ever...
grow up.
Why is everyone bashing this? Even if you have AIDS and are offended, you should check the archives. And seriously - grow some nuts and stop commenting as "anonymous". You guys are fags.
Everyone's bashing this because you're an ignorant moron, Shnitzmaster. You attempted humor, and failed. It happens to lots of people. Of course, almost no one fails this spectacularly, so you have that to be proud of.
"lamest... blog... ever..."
...AND...YET...YOU...READ...IT.
I don't ever even fart because I heard that there is an inswelling of gas up the corn hole right after the expulsion of fart gas. What if the dust particles take that as an invitation to your innards. AIDS City here we come.
Count me out!
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